


Take This Chance With Me

by RobinsonsWereHere



Series: For Better or For Worse [1]
Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, Feels, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s07 e03 Episode 3, Romance, i'm very bitter about their ending, not technically post-episode but like. at the end, this may become a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29845107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinsonsWereHere/pseuds/RobinsonsWereHere
Summary: Trixie tries to break up with Christopher. She would never forgive herself if her relationship with him made things harder, more uncertain, for Alexandra. The poor girl has a confusing enough life as it is.Christopher, on the other hand, doesn't think they have to give up yet. He's a father first, of course, but he knows Trixie is a far more positive influence on Alexandra than she believes. He loves her enough to fight for her, even when she doesn't think she's worth it.Trixie tries to break up with Christopher. But she's not as successful as she'd expected.
Relationships: Christopher Dockerill & Alexandra Dockerill, Christopher Dockerill/Trixie Franklin, Trixie Franklin & Alexandra Dockerill
Series: For Better or For Worse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200962
Comments: 12
Kudos: 8





	Take This Chance With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to beatrixfranklin for her lovely portrayal of Trixie and Christopher in _thorned roses and wilted violets,_ which reminded me of how much I love them and was the push I needed to finally write this fic. Their story is really poignant and wonderful, go read it if you haven't!

Trixie takes a deep breath. She’s choking on tears she can’t let herself shed, and she hasn’t even said what she needs to say.

She looks at Christopher, briefly, but the earnest love shining from his eyes makes her look away. She blinks, hard.

“I want you to go back to your wife.”

His brow furrows as he blinks. He opens his mouth without speaking. Stunned silence. And then

“Trixie, she-- she’s my ex wife,” he corrects her. “I don’t love her.” He takes her hands in his and she wants to flinch away. “I love _you.”_

Every time he’s said that before, it’s felt like a balm. Now, it’s just another burden she has to carry.

“And you love Alexandra,” she reminds him. “You need to do what’s right for her. And I’m not, you said it yourself.”

“What?” he sounds genuinely befuddled. “Wait a minute, are you talking about the conversation we had earlier? About Alexandra and Gwendolyn and I going to family therapy?”

“Yes?” It’s Trixie’s turn to be confused.

He rises from where he’s crouching in front of her and joins her on the bench, his right arm resting along the back of it with his hand on her shoulder. “Trixie, _Gwen_ was the one to suggest that you were bad for Alexandra, because she’s never met you, never seen how wonderful the two of you are together, and is generally disinclined to like anything that makes me happy.”

Trixie frowns, trying to take in this new information. This conversation has not at all gone how she’d expected. Christopher, either oblivious to her hesitation or because of it, presses on.

“And give me a bit of credit,” he says, leaning forward to look her in the eye. “Just like you said, I’ve got to be a father first. Do you really think I would put so much energy into this, into us, if I didn’t think you were good for Alexandra? If I didn’t think all three of us fit well together?”

“I…” Trixie takes a deep, shaky breath. “I know you think this is working now,” she says, “but it doesn’t just have to work now. It has to work when you’re deciding between a dinner with me or being home to kiss her goodnight. It has to work when her classmates ostracize her because her family isn’t just like everyone else’s. It has to work when she’s older, and can’t be won over with things as simple as nail polish and hot cocoa.” She looks him right in the eye, not caring that he can probably see her tears. “Christopher, if you can’t make that little girl feel cherished and safe, she’s going to go through her whole life feeling lonely and afraid, because she’ll be poised to run away, to take flight, before something hurts her.”

He nods, his expression serious and genuine, and takes both of her hands in his. “I love Alexandra more than anything, Trixie. You know that. She will always come first for me, but I do want you to know how close of a second you are.” He kisses her knuckles carefully. “I can see how you cherish Alexandra, too. I don’t think you know how much she looks up to you, even in such a short time.”

“I do,” she says. Her words quaver more than she’d like. “And that… scares me.”

Christopher moves ever closer, but she doesn’t move away. “Is that because you’re speaking from experience?”

She blinks. “What?”

“What you said, about young girls growing up lonely and afraid. Are you speaking from experience?”

Trixie’s throat tightens her heart beating unsteadily in her chest. It’s a foolish reaction; she’s shared so much already with Christopher, and knows he can keep intimate conversations between them. “I… I suppose so,” she manages.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he assures her. “I just… I know you’ve fought an extraordinary number of battles in your life. And I want you to know I admire you so much, for how kind and strong you are, even after… whatever you might’ve been through.”

“That’s a story for another time,” Trixie sighs. She’s beginning to accept she’s not going to complete the original goal of this conversation. Christopher is surprisingly passionate about this, and clearly unwilling to let her go without a fight. But she doesn’t want to fight him. She loves him. She’s not going to leave him after all. But her original worries still stand…

“Christopher,” she says, getting her voice back, “I know you think there’s no real issue with me being around Alexandra. But if it’s causing issues for your family-- yes, even issues brought up only by your ex-wife-- it’s real. I think… perhaps we should cool down our relationship for a few weeks. So that you can truly find out how Alexandra is feeling, and we can tread more carefully to see how I fit in best.” She squeezes his hands that still hold hers, offering a smile. “Talk to her,” she tells him. “Let her know you truly do want to hear what she has to say. To a little girl, an adult really caring to hear her voice is perhaps the biggest delight in the world.”

“You really do have answers to everything,” Christopher says, his voice infused with adoration.

“Oh, I wish that were true.” She rests her head on his shoulder. The physical contact feels once again comforting. Maybe he’s right to not let her give up so easily.

“I love you,” he murmurs. She closes her eyes and lets his voice wash over her. “I think you’re right, about being careful, and not getting so wrapped up in each other. But I really do want us to make it,” he says. “I really think we can. I’ve never felt as strongly about anyone as I do you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispers, not looking at him. She’s said it before, but certainly not as often or freely as he has. “I think maybe that’s why I’m so afraid. I feel like we really do have something… something I don’t want to lose.”

“You don’t have to lose me,” he promises. “We’ll figure it out.”

“I hope so,” Trixie agrees. She sits up, reluctantly pulling herself from his arms. Even if Christopher has agreed to stepping back for a bit, she knows she’ll have to be the one to make the first push. “Now, listen.” She plays stern as best she can, forcing her lips into a smile even as they want to pull into a frown. “Sunday night, you are going to be in front of Nonnatus at 6:30 sharp to take me to dinner. I hope it’ll be a nice place, where we can share a meal and confide in one another and enjoy all of the fun of romance. But if we see each other around before Sunday, we’re friends and professionals. Stepping back means boundaries, and we both need to ensure we can do this without having to be all over each other all the time.”

He grins rather devilishly. “Oh yes, you’re always _all over_ me.”

Trixie swats him. “We’ve certainly got chemistry. But next Sunday, yes?”

“Six-thirty,” he repeats. “I won’t be late.”

He stands from the bench, letting go of her hands, but hesitates. “Trixie?”

“Yes?”

“If I’m not going to see you all week, can I have one last kiss?”

“I suppose,” she says, her smile becoming more real.

She stands and reaches her arms to his shoulders as his hands find her hips. Their lips meet for a long moment, and the kiss is sweet and soft and full of love.

Trixie finds it easier to let go than she would have expected. The tears that threatened at the beginning of their conversation are long gone. 

Because that isn’t their last kiss, not by a long shot.

The next few weeks will be a battle… but she knows now that this love is worth fighting for.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As I mentioned in the tags, there's a chance this could turn into a full AU series... would anyone be interested in reading more of this? Let me know in the comments! I always love comments no matter what, and kudos are quite nice too. If you want to chat more, I'm on tumblr at nurseherewards!


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